Coincidence, Fate and Irony

Very ironic that after all that heartbreak earlier this week that I am late getting my period. I finally push Lance to bring home a pregnancy test after ignoring it all week. The results were immediate. Positive. I did not know what to feel. Excited. Drained. Stupid. Our life is just so perfect right now, besides our losing Chanty of course. Nicolas, is almost three years old, and is just so dependent. Every morning he jumps out of his bed, and comes running down the hallway into our bedroom. I pick him up and slide him under the covers between my husband and myself. Then we smother him with kisses on each cheek, while he giggles happily. FUN! He is at a great age. Will I miss something having another baby? Then I started to think about being pregnant. Being pregnant was such a beautiful time in my life. I loved watching this baby grow and my tummy with it. I did want this baby. I wanted Nicolas to have a sister or brother to turn to in time of need. I know he would make a great big brother. He is such a gentle and kind child....moody, but kind. Maybe this is a sign that I have another chance to do it better...not perfect....but better this time. It is a good thing. I am excited and happy. Most importantly so is Lance. So here we go again..........